Dealing with an aging relative may be complicated but sometimes the challenges may stem from difficulties from any siblings you might have. Caring for an aging parent often brings up long-standing sibling issues and family dynamics that may have been buried for a long time.

Ideally, caring for an aging parent should be spread among the siblings. But in many cases, one sibling tends to handle most of the care of an aging relative. This may be a result of location, available time or financial status. The person who is handling most of the day-to-day care often feels taken for granted and resentful of the other siblings who may not be able or willing to do the hands-on work.

Another issue that may arise between siblings is a disagreement about the type and amount of care that the parent receives each day. One sibling may deny how ill the parent may be or how much work is required to care for the parent. This may also arise when dealing with end-of-life issues. Each child may not agree with the treatment plan or management of any do-not-resuscitate orders for the parent, especially if the parent has not made his or her wishes clear beforehand.

The care of an elder parent should be a group effort and in order to make this happen, you may need to do some research and get some outside assistance. You should investigate what resources are available for caring for a parent so that you can discuss the options with your siblings. The local Agency on Aging has information that can guide you in your quest. Having an honest discussion with the family can solve many problems; however, for some families, a family mediator may be needed. During the mediation, an independent observer can help the family deal with their issues and come to a resolution.

Another option is to consult an attorney; this is typically only necessary in more extreme cases.

It can be difficult to keep an eye on your elder relatives to make sure that he or she is healthy and safe. But there are several warning signs that may alert you to problems with a senior and may indicate that some changes in lifestyle or living arrangements may be necessary. The person does not have to demonstrate all of the signals and the presence of any of them should at least trigger a discussion with the senior to find out what is going on.

Your parent has lost weight: A sudden weight loss could indicate a variety of problems in your parent’s home such as difficulties with cooking, or a health condition such as depression or cancer.

Your parent doesn’t keep up with hygiene or household chores: Lack of personal hygiene is a warning sign that there may be problems with your parent. This could indicate the beginning of dementia or physical inability to manage these tasks. You should also take a look at the house itself to make sure that your parent is not neglecting household chores. This could indicate the onset of dementia or depression as well.

Your parent has difficulties with transportation: Your parent may have difficulties walking even short distances because of arthritis and may need a cane or a walker. If there are steps in the home, this may cause a problem. Your relative may also not want to drive the car to places that used to be a common destination; driving at night may also be a concern.

If you notice any of these concerns, you should speak with your relative to assess the current situation. These issues do not mean that your parent should be whisked away to live in a nursing home immediately because often there are solutions. You may need to involve home care services, local aging agencies or physicians. You should do what is necessary to maintain your elder relative’s health and safety.